The Loveship® Revolution
It’s time to recognize that what we’ve been told isn’t working
The Failed Promise of Relationships Take Work
For 70 years, we've been told that "relationships take work." The promise is that through effort and work, your relationship will flourish into a happy, vibrant union. This advice has become so universally accepted that questioning it seems heretical. Yet after seven decades of this wisdom, one heartbreaking statistic tells the entire story: the divorce rate hasn't budged.
If this relationship advice actually worked to create the thriving relationships and lasting love we desperately crave, wouldn't we have seen dramatically lower divorce rates by now?
Instead, this advice has perpetuated a 70-year soul-crushing cycle of failure. During the typical five-hour wedding reception, there are over 430 divorces happening across the country – every 32 seconds another marriage ends in divorce, over one million divorces a year. We started the National Divorce Clock on Jan 1, 2018 and since then it has tracked 7,518,500 divorces at a staggering cost of $802 billion dollars. Broken families. Wrecked lives. Shattered dreams.
The fatal flaw in the ‘relationships are work’ advice is that working on a relationship is exhausting. No human being can consistently work on a relationship day after day, year after year, decade after decade. Eventually, the effort wears you out, and then the relationship deteriorates—sometimes ending in divorce, often devolving into the quiet despair of mediocrity, resignation, resentment, and silent suffering.
When daters accept that relationships take work, instead of finding easy, happy togetherness, they find relationships that come with built-in expiration dates.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.
After 70 years, isn't it time for a different approach?
There is no person who is perfect for you There is no person that fits you perfectly
We’ve been taught to believe that perfect fits don't exist and seamless compatibility is just a myth.
Hogwash!
We've created tools that measure a couple's alignment, revealing how well they fit each other.
Here is the alignment chart for Judy and Troy:
For Kira and TJ:
For Kristen and Mike:
If even one perfect fit exists, then perfect fits are possible. And if they're possible, they're worth finding!
In reality, there are 8 billion people on Earth. With that many people on the planet, there are certainly a whole group of people who are perfect fits for you—a set of people who fit you exactly as you are.
The problem isn't that perfect fits don't exist.
The problem is that the current way of dating isn't designed to find them.
Relationships don't complete you
Aristotle understood what modern relationship science has forgotten: "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."
In a true Loveship—a relationship with extraordinary alignment—you discover a profound completion you never dreamed was possible. Your partner becomes the missing piece of your soul that unlocks experiences and fulfillment impossible to achieve alone. This isn't codependency; it's the breathtaking natural result of profound alignment.
You must work on yourself first
This well-meaning advice assumes all relationships require a skill set to navigate conflict and friction. You learn these skills by working on your deeper self, finding your blocks, and clearing your painful past so that you can better and more authentically deal with conflict when it arises.
But what if there's no significant conflict to navigate? What if peace could be the natural relationship state?
Troy lived through the emotional exhaustion of a 22-year "work-at-it" marriage, and is now experiencing the profound joy of a 14-year Loveship. Zero self-improvement was required to find or be in his Loveship - no therapy, no relationship skills, no personal development. The only change was selecting a partner with extraordinary alignment (Loveship-level alignment), instead of choosing another partner with the typical level of alignment (relationship-level alignment).
You need to create a healthy and happy relationship
Yoda would reply, "The absence of arguments and friction does not a relationship happy make."
Here's a truth that will shake you: there's virtually no such thing as a truly healthy AND happy relationship in today's world. Don’t believe me? Read on…
If your relationship is unhealthy—full of friction and dysfunction—then you're likely to be miserable. This makes perfect sense. But here's the part that relationship experts don't tell you: Just because a relationship is "healthy" does not mean it's happy.
A so-called "healthy" relationship is simply one where dysfunction is carefully managed through strategies and tools. Partners must constantly monitor what they do, what they say, and how they say it. They live in a perpetual state of semi-vigilance to keep relational dysfunction in check.
Yes, this reduces arguments through "constructive communication" and "conflict resolution skills", but at what cost?
To maintain their "healthy" relationship, each partner must become someone fundamentally different than who they naturally are. They must subdue their deepest needs, wants, desires, feelings, thoughts, and authentic beliefs to avoid the otherwise inevitable conflict.
Think about the soul-crushing weight of that reality: You cannot fully be yourself in your most intimate relationship.
How can you be truly happy when you can't be who you naturally are? Further, how can a relationship be genuinely happy when both people are suppressing their authentic selves?
A "healthy" relationship is actually an unnatural state: You either shift who you are to keep the relationship "healthy", or fully be your natural self which creates discord with your partner. Neither state is healthy or happy.
Instead of promoting "healthy and happy," let's talk about something real: How many couples do you see who are genuinely "joyous and deeply fulfilled"? How many married people do you know who radiate authentic excitement about their partnerships? How many couples are standing on street corners celebrating the profound joy their relationship brings to their lives?
The deafening silence tells the entire story.
The only way to a truly joyous, happy relationship is to date in a way that finds the people with whom you can both completely be your true, natural selves.
That means you must find extraordinary alignment.
Relationships are here to help you grow, not make you happy(happiness is an inside job)
We've been sold a dangerous lie: Relationships exist primarily to challenge us, push our buttons, stretch our limits, and help us grow. This popular relationship philosophy sounds profound, but it's leading millions of people into unnecessary misery.
First, let's be honest—who actually wants this? When you imagine your ideal partner, do you dream of someone who will frustrate you, create friction, and force you to "grow"? Of course not. Deep down, we all long for love that feels natural, joyful, and effortless.
Second, "challenge" as a way of relationship tends to make people unhappy (because it puts them under stress), and unhappy people drive 99% of all divorces. So, relationship challenge creates unhappy people, which, in turn, aims couples towards breakdown and breakup. Breakdown and breakup is the opposite of growing.
Third, growth doesn't require relationship suffering. Want to grow as a person? Take classes. Join workshops. Travel. Read. Meditate. Challenge yourself professionally. The world offers countless paths to personal development that don't involve choosing a life partner who makes you feel challenged (aka miserable).
Our Loveship makes us truly, genuinely happy pretty much 24/7/365...and that's how love should be.
You attract who you are, magnetization, and the like
When you get healthy, authentic, clear and centered, and you will attract a healthy, authentic, clear, centered partner.
Okay, great.
Does being healthy, authentic, clear and centered prevent you from picking poor alignments? Does it guarantee you'll get a relationship that is easy, happy, and fulfilling?
We’ve been told that being healthy, authentic, clear, and centered is the highest state a person can achieve when it comes to being ready to be in a relationship.
The question no one ever asks is: ready for what?
If a relationship was naturally happy, joyous, and thriving every day, would you need to be ready for that?
So, the only reason one needs to be ready is for when relationships aren’t naturally happy, joyous, and thriving.
Here's what happens: In working to get healthy, authentic, clear and centered, you're improving your tools to deal with friction, conflict, and difficulties. As a dater, if you have those tools, you're more likely to use them – the tools enable you to pick a person with whom you have friction, conflict and difficulties.
We see this in daters constantly. People who pick partners based on consciousness, health, and quality actually tend to pick worse alignments because they believe they have what it takes to make it work.
“You attract who you are" creates relationships that come with built-in expirations dates.
You learn from your relationship failures, and when you've learned enough, you'll find lasting love
More seemingly good common wisdom which is, in reality, common but not wise.
Interpersonal romantic relationships are complex and highly multifaceted. Every relationship has a different interplay of elements and facets, therefore the lessons you learn from one are not likely applicable to the next relationship.
Sure, you won't make the old mistakes again; but because it’s a different set of elements and facets, you'll just make different mistakes….again, and again, and again.
It's far easier to get it right from the start than it is to try to make it right afterwards.
If you get someone who fits you from the very start, you'll have success, rather than learn from heartbreak.
Relationship science's effect on children - the vicious cycle
When it comes to children, today's relationship science perpetuates a heartbreakingly vicious cycle:
- Dating brings together mismatched couples who struggle, argue, or who aren't genuinely fulfilled and happy in their relationship
- Their households are filled with undercurrents of dissatisfaction and resentment
- Surrounded by disharmony and cared for by parents who are less than happy in their relationship, children develop deep emotional wounds
- These children grow up and need therapy to heal their emotional wounds
- They follow the prevailing relationship advice as they date, thinking that it’s normal for a couple to have friction and difficulties.
- Their households are disharmonious, filled with undercurrents of dissatisfaction and resentment
- Their children develop emotional wounds
- The cycle repeats indefinitely
Every generation of adults requiring therapy for familial childhood wounds is the result of a profound failure in the current dating and relationship paradigm.
The Virtuous Cycle Loveship Solution
Imagine the deep warmth of coming home to a partner who naturally sees, hears, understands, validates, and loves you for just who you are. Imagine a love so strong it never fades, so deep you feel like one, so welcoming you feel wrapped in deeply-fulfilled belonging.
Picture children raised in this sanctuary of love, nurtured by two people overflowing with genuine affection rather than struggling to keep their relationship afloat.
These children become adults who naturally date to find their own Loveships, establishing a virtuous cycle that transforms our society from wounded, weary, and needing therapy to genuinely happy and loved.
Isn’t it time to put a stop to the epidemic of childhood wounding caused by parents who don't fit other?
What you're saying is crazy, or you are crazy (both have been said 😊)
After a recent class, a therapist with 40 years of experience called to ask Troy how he had seen beyond the current paradigm. She stated that our approach made her four decades of conventional relationship thinking "obsolete."
Troy told her that since he didn’t have a background in psychology, his thinking wasn’t constrained by the prevailing paradigm. He also told her that it didn’t hurt that he is a pattern expert, innovator, multiple patent holder, and educator with deep experience in highly complex systems.
After attending our class, multiple psychologists, therapists, and counselors have privately acknowledged to us that traditional approaches don't work. Even more telling, they have asked us to help them in their search for a Loveship.
At the end of the day, would you use a heart surgeon with a 50% failure rate? Then why are you accepting advice from a field that has maintained a 50% divorce rate for 70 years?
We're not dating coaches…
We aren't dating coaches—we're Love Theorists.
Rather than try to understand how relationships work in order to try to find ways to make love last, we have spent the last 15 years studying the emotion of love as a natural phenomenon: How does love work? What are the elements that love needs to make love last?
Our discovery? Love thrives effortlessly when couples share extraordinary alignment. Extraordinary alignment is the nutrient that makes soul-deep love flow forever.
Based on what we learn, we create dating systems to filter, introduce, match, and measure highly aligned people.
The Simple Truth
The simple truth is that the relationship psychology industry has overcomplicated what should be obvious. When you understand love as a natural phenomenon, the truth becomes clear:
Misalignments — the places where partners don't see eye-to-eye — are the root cause of discord, compromising, and having to "work" on a relationship, all of which slowly lead to relationship failure.
It logically follows that the fewer misalignments a couple has, the less friction they experience, the less work they have to do, the easier their relationship flows, and the happier they become.
Imagine what happens when we eliminate the vast majority of misalignments by specifically dating for extraordinary alignment.
The result is beyond anything you've experienced.
Loveships report feeling like they've never truly been in love before—that everything else was a weak shadow. They say the Loveship connection flows so naturally and powerfully that it becomes a transcendent – almost spiritual – experience, delivering their lives to an entirely different plane of existence.
What do you believe?
Henry Ford said, "Whether you believe you can or believe you can't, you're right."
The choice is yours: continue dating the way you are now, settling for mediocrity while your heart quietly hopes for something more, or courageously join the Loveship revolution and discover what extraordinary love actually feels like.
Your heart deserves nothing less.
Don’t hesitate to send us the questions you have at info@bloved.com
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