einstein of love
revolutionary. uncomplicated. powerful.
Dating isn’t working for me. Am I just doing it wrong?
(or is there another explanation for why I can’t find someone)
I’ve been dating, but it’s not working. Is there something wrong with me?
Quick Answer: There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. The problem lies elsewhere.
Summary: Yes, I know that you are not succeeding at dating and that makes you completely normal. With traditional dating, failing to find someone is the norm, rather than the exception.
Experts frequently say that repeated failure means that you are not ready for dating – you need to improve yourself in order to be ready to find love.
Is that true, or is it laying the blame in the wrong place?
The real question we must ask is:
Is the dater to blame, or is dating itself broken?
Here’s the answer. Revolutionary. Uncomplicated. Powerful.
Getting the Lay of the Dating Landscape
Let's do some simple dating math
According to the US Census Bureau, there are 110 million single people over the age of 18.
A 2006 Pew Research Center poll found that 16% of single people are seeking a partner.
That’s 18 million singles searching for love. (note: this number seems very low to me)
According to a 2016 Match.com poll, daters spend an average of $1600 per year on dating.
Add it all up and we discover that daters spend $28 BILLION on dating annually! That’s $77M per day, $54k for every minute of every day.
How You Date Now
How many succeed?
Of those 18 million singles who are searching for love, only about 2 million get married per year.
That means the vast majority of $28 billion dollars spent on dating does not pan out.
Looking At It Logically
The truth is in the numbers
Two million people succeeding out of 18 million who are searching equates to only 1 in 9 daters finding love.
That’s a paltry11% success rate!
The Hidden Dating Disaster
Seeing the full picture
Add the 950,000 non-thriving married couples to the 1,000,000 divorced couples and we get the full picture:
Of the 2M marriages this year, 1.95M of them will not thrive.
That’s a 97.5% failure rate.
The Lovalutionary Insight
Is it you or is it dating itself?
It ain’t you! It’s dating.
Every year daters invest $28 billion on the search for love.
On top of the money, daters spend a lifetime absorbing, learning, and practicing the skills to find and nurture love.
If, after all that money and effort, daters still can’t find love, then the problem is not with the daters!
The problem is with dating itself.
The Einstein Solution
Stop blaming yourself. Just find a way of dating that works.
Right now, you date in a seemingly never-ending cycle of catch and release that more resembles a fishing expedition than an intelligent search for the love of your life.
And, of course, failing over and over makes you wonder if you’re doing something wrong, but you’re not!
It’s how you’ve been taught to fish that’s all screwed up.
You just need a new way of fishing … err, I mean, dating.
Write This Down
What You Need to Do to Find Your Loveship
What you need to do is to notice the way people date today, and don’t do what they are doing!
Instead, date differently by applying new thinking and different methods.
Begin that change by doing these three things:
- Recognize how you date today.
Write down the individual steps you are taking in your search for love. Begin with how you decide who to search for, then think about the ways you find people to date, and finally recall all the steps and phases you take from the first date to eventually finding an LTR.
Write all of that down on a sheet of paper.
These steps define your current approach to dating.
Remember, Einstein said that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity … and your dating will continue to feel insane until you stop using the steps you just wrote down.
- Changing how you get introductions doesn’t count as a shift in your dating practices.
Your dating actions and beliefs are exactly the same no matter how you find people to date. Changing dating sites or how you find dates does not vastly shift your dating practices or goals. - If you want to find epic, unfading love, then the first step of your new path is to discover which people share that type of love with you.
You must discover the specific characteristics and traits that will mix your characteristics and traits to produce a more natural type of love – one that is easy, profound and deeply connected at the heart and soul.
Don’t have another date until you get clear about who shares that natural type of love with you; otherwise, you’re just continuing the insanity and adding more money to the $28 billion dating debt.
Changing your thinking and methods will shift your dating trajectory away from the old failed ways and head you in a new direction that can finally succeed in finding real, true love.
einstein of love
revolutionary. uncomplicated. powerful.
Dating isn’t working for me. Am I just doing it wrong?
(or is there another explanation for why I can’t find someone)
I’ve been dating, but it’s not working. Is there something wrong with me?
Quick Answer: There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. The problem lies elsewhere.
Summary: Yes, I know that you are not succeeding at dating and that makes you completely normal. With traditional dating, failing to find someone is the norm, rather than the exception.
Experts frequently say that repeated failure means that you are not ready for dating – you need to improve yourself in order to be ready to find love.
Is that true, or is it laying the blame in the wrong place?
The real question we must ask is:
Is the dater to blame, or is dating itself broken?
Here’s the answer. Revolutionary. Uncomplicated. Powerful.
Let's do some simple dating math
According to the US Census Bureau, there are 110 million single people over the age of 18.
A 2006 Pew Research Center poll found that 16% of single people are seeking a partner.
That’s 18 million singles searching for love. (note: this number seems very low to me)
According to a 2016 Match.com poll, daters spend an average of $1600/year on dating.
Add it all up and we discover that daters spend $28 BILLION on dating annually! That’s $77M per day, $54k for every minute of every day.
How many succeed?
Of those 18 million singles who are searching for love, only about 2 million get married per year.
That means the vast majority of $28 billion dollars spent on dating does not pan out.
The truth is in the numbers
Two million people succeeding out of 18 million who are searching equates to only 1 in 9 daters finding love.
That’s a paltry11% success rate.
Next, you took the plunge ... cheers!
But what happened to the difficulties you learned to tolerate as you were dating?
Did they get tossed into the garbage with the party poppers?
The love starts to fade...
The difficulties didn’t evaporate at the altar.
Instead, they followed you over the threshold like a termite swarm – and your long-term relationship was their new favorite long-term buffet.
Those pesty little difficulties infested your relationship, constantly nibbling away at the love you worked so hard to find.
Eventually, you got tired of tolerating the difficulties, and the relationship died.
Is it you or is it dating itself?
It ain’t you! It’s dating.
Every year daters invest $28 billion on the search for love.
On top of the money, daters spend a lifetime absorbing, learning, and practicing the skills to find and nurture love.
If, after all that money and effort, daters still can’t find love, then the problem is not with the daters!
The problem is with dating itself.
The solution to this problem is to stop blaming yourself and just find a way of dating that works.
Right now, you date in a seemingly never-ending cycle of catch and release that more resembles a fishing expedition than an intelligent search for the love of your life.
And, of course, failing over and over makes you wonder if you’re doing something wrong, but you’re not!
It’s how you’ve been taught to fish that’s all screwed up.
You just need a new way of fishing … err, I mean, dating.
What You Need to Do to Find Your Loveship
What you need to do is to notice the way people date today, and don’t do what they are doing!
Instead, date differently by applying new thinking and different methods.
Begin that change by doing these three things.
Write these down:
- Recognize how you date today.
Write down the individual steps you are taking in your search for love. Begin with how you decide who to search for, then think about the ways you find people to date, and finally recall all the steps and phases you take from the first date to eventually finding an LTR.
Write all of that down on a sheet of paper.
These steps define your current approach to dating.
Remember, Einstein said that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity … and your dating will continue to feel insane until you stop using the steps you just wrote down.
- Changing how you get introductions doesn’t count as a shift in your dating practices.
Your dating actions and beliefs are exactly the same no matter how you find people to date. Changing dating sites or how you find dates does not vastly shift your dating practices or goals.
- If you want to find epic, unfading love, then the first step of your new path is to discover which people share that type of love with you.
You must discover the specific characteristics and traits that will mix your characteristics and traits to produce a more natural type of love – one that is easy, profound and deeply connected at the heart and soul.
Don’t have another date until you get clear about who shares that natural type of love with you; otherwise, you’re just continuing the insanity and adding more money to the $28 billion dating debt.
Changing your thinking and methods will shift your dating trajectory away from the old failed ways and head you in a new direction that can finally succeed in finding real, true love.
einstein of love
revolutionary. uncomplicated. powerful.
Einstein of Love is a special feature of BlovedTalks.
These articles cut through the clutter to deliver revolutionary, uncomplicated, and powerful answers to dating and relationship’s most intractable problems.
Through these articles and other works, Troy and Judy, together with Team Bloved, put singles on a path to finding Loveships — the next step beyond relationships. Loveships are a unique type of togetherness which are uncommonly easy, uber harmonious, and profoundly connected.
The Dating for True Love System rebuilds dating and relationships from the ground up and leads daters step-by-step to finding a Loveship of their own — the natural, unfading, life-fulfilling love that singles are looking for today.
questions? thoughts?
The only dumb question is the one you don’t ask! We LOVE questions. We LIVE to help. We DIG it when you reach out with your thoughts. In our book, you ROCK!
Finding love — choosing who to love — is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life. It’s a choice which affects your life every day.
And yet, even in the face of that uncontestable fact, singles know so little about where love comes from and how to find it. Even worse, the common wisdom that they are implored to follow rarely leads to finding someone with whom they will have lasting love and true happiness.
Every new age that dawns begins with a radical change, and so it is today with love.
be real. believe. bloved.
A Radically Different Approach to Finding Love